I had some reading to do this afternoon, so I went to the public market for some bubble tea and sat outside on one of the benches surrounding the water feature. There were a bunch of asian families around and their kids were chasing pigeons and being all sorts of annoying to the pigeon population. Other than that, I noticed there was this guy who looked like Sam Roberts minus access to a razor, whose attire and aloofness suggested hobo, starving artist, or professional backpacker, sitting diagonal to me. Probably in his late 20's, but it was hard to tell because of his unkempt facial hair situation. He would get up and leave periodically, returning to his bench to roll a cigarette and listen to his discman, sometimes chatting with some other folks of a comparable AGI class (hmm, guess what I was reading about).
Anyway, for an hour I was totally immersed in some papers for my literature review and was furiously scribbling things down. Then I noticed that he was walking towards me. Thinking I knew what was going to happen next, I mentally flipped a coin (Harvey Two-Face style, baby) to decide whether or not I will give him any change. See, I don't really have a problem with sparing some change, but I just hate taking out my wallet to do it. It was a gift, a really pretty thing suggestive of more money than it possesses (thanks for making me look rich, Colleen), not to mention ownership of a tiny dog.
I didn't look up until his shadow was in my way, and when I did, he placed a sealed strawberry "bubble tea" (more like a smoothy from a bbt place) next to me on the bench (narrowly missing a pair of copulating flies, no less) and said, in a thick eastern european accent: "If I need excuse to give you this, it is because you read very nice." I was confused as to what he meant by "read very nice," but like that time I thought Irfan bought a real helicopter for $100, I pretended I wasn't shocked and thanked him (..twice), like I get bubble tea from vagrant celebrity look-alikes all the time. He walked away after that and didn't come back.
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5 comments:
Have you considered the possibility that is was Sam Roberts? Hoboing about drinkin' bubble tea
Also tell me you didn't drink it :|
I did actually, which is why I am now suffering from terrible stress-related acne, procrastination bloggeritis, and the acute inability to digest the data output in my regressions.
It might have been a stupid move, but I checked the seal to make sure it hadn't been tampered with. Also, I knew exactly where he got it from, having just gotten bubble tea there myself.
Concern appreciated, but no more lectures please! Let's focus on other life or death matters such as "Was he actually Sam Roberts?" and "What does 'read very nice' mean?".
OMG Sam Roberts hit on you. No wonder Reuben hates Sam Roberts!
Hey, I didn't say the guy was good-looking like Sam Roberts... uhhhh I mean, I don't find Sam Roberts good-looking at all....
Jamieson, I want to kick him in the balls.
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